George Soros: Smoke A Bowl For California

By: Rachel Marsden

The international financier who poured millions of dollars into unsuccessfully blocking George W. Bush’s re-election in 2004, and who delayed the creation of the Euro economic zone in 1992 by exposing the British Pound Sterling as stuffing its bra, has now reportedly found a million dollars between his sofa cushions to support the Proposition 19 campaign to officially legalize marijuana via the November 2nd ballot.

George Soros apparently put the blood of virgins to fine embossed paper made of yak’s eyelids and exposed himself to The Wall Street Journal this week. To sum up his argument, “California’s a-broken. Time to get tokin’!”

The piece is a treasure trove of “high” comedy. He argues that making marijuana illegal didn’t prevent it from becoming the most popular illegal drug in America. That’s kind of like saying that making murder illegal didn’t prevent Ted Bundy from becoming the most popular serial killer in America. Just because something is popular in the realm of unlawful behaviour doesn’t mean that it has run rampant, or that anyone other than those currently using it would want to be exposed to it.

The new law would legalize pot smoking in designated areas and at home and would grant the freedom to grow a limited supply for one’s own use. Anyone who truly believes that that is where the legalization will end in practice has obviously never taken public transit or walked down a sidewalk. Every day, as a non-smoker, I’m subjected to smokers of both legal and illegal substances lighting up in various banned locations. Why not just urinate on people in public, while you’re at it?

Soros points to all the law enforcement resources that he claims are wasted on pursuing possessions of “small amounts” of pot. Personally, as someone who values my own freedom to inhale clean air without having that freedom impinged upon by pot or cigarette smokers, I consider these resources well spent. If the current penalties associated with being caught smoking pot aren’t enough to fuel the system, then it’s time for an increase until the system becomes profitable.

Whenever I used to go to the movie theatre in Times Square, I would have to contend with various people’s ruining the experience because they toked up in the theatre. It would have been nice to have seen them hauled out for committing what is essentially assault against innocent bystanders who may not be able to escape the drug quickly enough to avoid being subjected to an unforeseen, adverse reaction ranging from headaches to serious illnesses.

When Soros laments the violation of “rights and civil liberties,” economic principles dictate that he take the side of those who are imposing toxic fumes on the general population. He couldn’t care less about those who have to contend with the resulting toxicity. By this same argument, he should be backing gas-guzzling diesel trucks.

Racial inequality, according to Soros, is also fostered by arrests for possession of pot because while blacks smoke it in equal proportion to whites, they’re caught more often. Presumably, Soros imagines that if pot only were legal, blacks would finally be arrested on a par with whites, ending such racial injustices once and for all.

He argues that the dominance of Mexican cartels in the cross-border pot trade would dissipate if everyone could grow his own little Chia Pet of pot at home. Right—they’ll all just go out of business and retire like the wusses they are. Mexican drug cartels didn’t ever look as if they had it in them to go the distance in business anyway.

Soros points out that kids currently have better access to marijuana than adults, and then suggests that de-stigmatizing pot would help to educate kids. Look, I’m one of those adults who know everything one possibly can about marijuana without having actually smoked it. But I wouldn’t know where to find a joint on any given day as an adult, let alone as a kid—and I grew up in Vancouver, BC, the world mecca for pothead snowboarders, activists, and academics. During one of the criminology classes I took at university, I even heard a pro-pot cop lecture on the benefits of pot and the evils of criminalization. (Incidentally, he is now dead from a massive abdominal tumor; coincidence?) I had all the “pot education” I needed and still wouldn’t have known where to score any, apart from a clearly marked “hemp café”. As such, I don’t think that Soros ought to worry about the pot education of kids who are already capable of easily scoring joints. A google search for “pot effects” or “pot bad trips” right after “pot dealers” would do the trick.

Finally, Soros argues that drug arrests lead to criminal records that serve no one. Well, except employers. Perhaps Soros can just hire all the potheads to work for him. Then they can all roll their own joints from the marijuana plants around the office and toke up at work: That’s George Soros de Ganja’s idea of a winning society.