Democrats Prove Dung Flies In Formation

By:  Rachel Marsden

U.S. President George W. Bush has accepted his Iraq war general's recommendations to begin gradual withdrawal of troops. Since Democrats have been begging for troop pullout for months, you'd think they'd be thrilled -- but they aren't.

That's because Bush didn't follow the script of their wet dream: "My fellow Americans. I'm withdrawing troops from Iraq because we're totally screwed. #&%$ this -- I'm going back to the ranch."

Instead, as General David Petraeus points out, the drawdown comes as a result of success, not defeat -- proof that the January 2007 Bush troop surge has worked.

Having given the Democrats what they have been asking for all along, just not on their defeatist terms, the four-star general had to then sit in congressional hearings last week while Hillary Clinton, the flower power generation's poster girl, took potshots at his integrity: "I think that the reports you provide to us really require the willing suspension of disbelief." Barack Obama and others joined her, proving that dung enjoys flying in formation.

It seems that the donkeys are keen on Petraeus adopting the role of General William Westmoreland, who won every battle in Vietnam only to have Democratic President Lyndon Johnson pull the rug (and the troops) out from under him and give up.

Bush and Petraeus can't throw up the white flag fast enough for the donkey's liking, because Hillary and friends have until November 2008 to convince American voters that mere finger wagging wins wars.

They keep telling us the troops can be yanked out because the situation in Iraq requires a political solution, not a military one. OK, let's test that theory.

The problem in Iraq is measured in terms of violence and bombings. Now, if that problem can really be dealt with via diplomacy and witty repartee, then we simply need to send in the world's top diplomats. So let's empty out the United Nations building in New York and get the 3rd Battalion of Desk Jockeys over there.

When they arrive in Iraq and are faced with terrorists wanting to shoot them, behead them or blow them up, they can dazzle the enemy with a friendly smile, stunning vocabulary and warm handshake.

Then they can sit down and regale the Islamofascists with heartwarming tales of women's lib, homosexual rights, and a recap of Britney Spears' performance at the MTV Awards.

How long do you think it would take for these suits to land starring roles in the next batch of terrorist snuff videos?

The troops are over there fighting for your values, you leftist nitwits. If the U.S. pulled out of Iraq tomorrow and chaos ensued, I'd be taking bets on the amount of time it would take for George Clooney, Sean Penn and various other high-profile members of the liberal left to start holding press conferences, mounting campaigns, and whining about how people in Iraq were killing each other and no one was doing anything to help.

Hillary's presidential opponent, Rudy Giuliani, spelled out the only acceptable outcome of this ideological war against Islamofascism: "They lose, we win." In the Second World War, this is what it looked like: The Nazis dropped their ideology and simply became peaceful Germans.

The only other logical alternative is that we adopt Sharia law and walk around in burqas. Hillary Clinton may not like showing skin in the summertime, but I do. And I'm all for hanging in there for as long as it takes to defend that right.

PUBLISHED:  TORONTO SUN (September 17/07)