Maybe Iraq's Soccer Star Should Headbutt A Missile

Too Liberal With Arms

By: Rachel Marsden

When Iraq’s soccer team won the Asian Cup this week, its star player, Younis Mahmoud, said he didn’t want to go back home because he was afraid of being killed.

But instead of saying something in support of his country’s new democratic efforts and rallying his countrymen—and being thankful for the fact that he no longer has to kick around a cement soccer ball and withstand torture upon losing a game—he sucked up to the terrorists with, “I want America to go out. Today, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, but out. I wish the American people didn't invade Iraq and hopefully it will be over soon.”

The only thing this ingrate deserves is a one-way ticket home to take his chances on surviving the celebratory gunfire during the Baghdad ticker tape parade.

Maybe this is just Mahmoud’s creative way of campaigning for a bigger soccer field—one that’s several city blocks long and free of obstacles like buildings, courtesy of western allied forces. Because really, the next logical step if the terrorists keep it up is to have Mahmoud headbutting missiles off an F-22 Raptor.

Although leaders like George W. Bush recognize that we’re at war, their actions suggest that they’re in denial of the endgame. This is a clash of civilizations, and there can only be one winner. Which is why arming Islamic nations is sheer lunacy.

The US is giving $20 billion worth of arms to Saudi Arabia, Russia’s Vladimir Putin is helping out Iran, while France’s Sarkozy has now promised to give Libyan dictator Gaddafi nuclear energy. Granted, the Islamic hardliner was smacked into line after the Iraq invasion, but he’s hardly trustworthy, and his eventual successor could turn out to be an even bigger nutcase.

Thankfully, Sarko doesn’t really have to follow through with any signed deal because international law isn’t worth the paper on which it’s written. Gaddafi may as well take his case to Judge Judy if France reneges. So how about we start by giving Gaddafi a blender and see how he handles it? Sarko can buy one online at Macy’s for $39.99 and have it shipped.

Better behaved people don’t even have central heating or air conditioning yet—so pardon me if I don’t care that Muammar lacks nuclear power.

If we’re serious about winning this new war against fascist ideology, we need to start acting like we did during the old one (WWII). During that war, if people were meeting five times a day at the Church of Hitler, reading from Mein Kampf and plotting our demise, would we have put up with it for even a second, in the name of “tolerance”? No, we would have flattened it.

And the Japanese had guerilla suicide bombers during that war, too. They were called kamikaze pilots. The big airshow we gave them in 1945 provided the incentive they obviously needed to find new hobbies. Now they’re busy making Honda Accords and Toyota Corollas, and contributing positively to the world.

We could start by getting Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay to create a short movie that shows the Islamofascists what they’re in for if they don’t start behaving in a civilized manner. Then if even a single bomb goes off, we can move into the production phase for the big show.

If we really do value our lifestyle more than they value their ideology, then it’s time to prove it instead of trying to put out this fire with a squirt gun.

PUBLISHED: TORONTO SUN (August 5/07)