A Legacy About Nothing

By:  Rachel Marsden

Since Judge Gomeryís interim sponsorship scandal report came out last week, Canadians are once again giving the Liberals a big middle-finger salute in the polls.  Itís time for Canada to take that finger, stick it to the very back of our collective throat and do some serious Liberal purging.

Prime Minister Paul Martin claims an early election would derail his big plans and important meetings -- as though scuttling any bright ideas these fubar artists have would be a bad thing.

What exactly has he been doing for the past two years anyway? Martin appears headed for the same do-nothing legacy as former U.S. President Jimmy Carter. Justice John Gomery's findings on AdScam aside, that's a good enough reason to give him the hook right now.

Notwithstanding the Iran hostage crisis or training of Islamic fundamentalists, even die-hard Carter fans (I can't even type that without laughing) can't recall a single significant accomplishment of his administration. Ditto for Martin. Here's what his legacy consists of so far:

* He legalized gay marriage which, judging by the nonexistent rush to the altar, was a bigger priority for Liberals than it was for gays.

* While unable to make diplomatic headway in trade disputes with the U.S., Martin has focused his trade efforts on communist China and flea-market-level commerce with the Dominican Republic.

* He has made lots of promises, many of which won't kick in for years, if at all. Liberal budgets have been like Santa stuffing your stocking full of IOUs.

Carter is best known for his involvement with human rights campaigns and non-profit organizations after leaving office. Meanwhile, Martin recently praised non-profit groups while telling high school students, "I'm not sure that parliament is all that functional a place," and referring to the "hassle" of politics. How positively Churchillian. Get the heck out of here, Paulie -- your true destiny awaits you, right alongside Jimmuh!

But a successful Liberal purge will depend on various other factors. Conservative leader Stephen Harper urgently needs to get out onto the national stage and say something about his vision. I don't care if his grass skirt is hanging by a thread and his coconut bra is falling off -- someone give him a shove. Just get out there and shake it, Stephen!

And get some decent PR people -- particularly in Ontario. The current dolts couldn't get Paris Hilton press in a room full of paparazzi, which might explain why Maclean's reported that Peter Kent -- the Conservative "star candidate" here -- has been cruising around Toronto in a truck decked out in "look at me" Conservative Party ornamentation.

When the only people present at a Toronto-area Conservative-run town hall meeting on crime -- during a crime wave -- are basically folks on the candidates' personal Christmas card lists, the party has PR issues.

Ontario voters need to stop acting like extras in a George Romero movie, zombie-voting for Liberals. Conservative candidates aren't scary. Most aren't even conservative, if that makes you feel any better.

Finally, the NDP's Jack Layton needs to prove he's serious about no longer propping up Martin. Jack, I have a better idea: Your comrade, Hollywood blowhard Warren Beatty, is following California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger around in a bus. He says he doesn't want to be in politics, only to "say what he thinks." Sounds like a good plan when your views are so loony left that you're never going to be allowed to run things anyway.

How about it, Jack -- maybe Jane Fonda's Crisco-powered bus is available, now that she's no longer doing her antiwar tour?
 

PUBLISHED:  TORONTO SUN (November 9/05)

COPYRIGHT 2005 RACHEL MARSDEN