How to handle the holiday buzzkill: ‘Are you vaccinated?’

By: Rachel Marsden

PARIS — Holiday gatherings should be a time of convivialité and not of browbeating fellow attendees between hors d’œuvres. But this year is admittedly different. If only because the mere notion of hosting or attending a holiday gathering can be considered a political act.

“Majority of Canadians unwilling to let unvaccinated friend, family member into their home,” read a National Post headline earlier this month. The article cited the “overwhelming” Canadian fully jabbed rate of 75 percent in reporting a Leger-ACS poll’s finding that 57 percent of Canadians were unwilling to allow an unjabbed person — family member of otherwise — into their home. And in my home province of British Columbia, Canada’s westernmost, that figure reached a whopping 70 percent.

It’s hardly surprising that this is the level of paranoia that has gripped people of that province and other jurisdictions where pandemic messaging has been relentlessly hysterical. The authorities in that province are doling out third jabs now, because the first two jabs taken earlier this year need to be boosted. At the same time, they’re telling the fully jabbed how many other fully jabbed people they’re allowed to have over for the holidays. They’re also telling unjabbed people to spend the holiday alone, or outside if they’re going to be around others.

“Personal indoor gatherings will be limited to one household plus another household, or 10 other people, if everyone is vaccinated. Those who are unvaccinated should not be attending parties or gatherings,” according to the new rules, reported by the Vancouver Sun.

All this hysteria exists because, for instance, a whopping three people’s deaths were attributed to COVID-19 yesterday — in a province of over 5 million.

Hey, here’s a thought. Someone’s jab status is no one else’s business. So, if being invited to holiday gatherings is contingent on your personal medical information being approved by some nosy Nelly (or Norman) in your entourage, here are some handy responses that you can provide when you’re inevitably asked by loved ones at some point over the holidays whether you’re jabbed.

You can simply reply, “Sorry, as a general rule, I don’t share my private medical information with others. Is this event medical disclosure themed? Because if so, I’d like for everyone to bring their latest cholesterol test results as a condition of admission, please. Anyone with high cholesterol is one holiday meal or treat away from potentially overwhelming hospitals. Or do you not care about the overworked hospital staff? Are you not concerned that you may not have access to urgent medical care because some ticking time bomb couldn’t discipline himself with the gravy ladle?”

Better yet, just show up at the door of the party with a bathroom scale. Toss it onto the floor when asked your jab status. Point out that the overwhelmingly primary driver of serious COVID cases has been obesity. Insist that instead of discriminating against fit and healthy people (regardless of whether or not they’ve taken the shot), anyone who’s overweight should be banned from festivities — for their own protection, of course.

Or you could say, “Am I jabbed? Well, are YOU? Because if you are, then it’s a moot point whether I am or not, isn’t it? The jabs are a magic force field that COVID cannot penetrate, right? So why do you suddenly not trust it to protect you from me? Are you trying to foist something on me that you implicitly admit is dodgy and unreliable?”

You could also make a big deal about how infection rates have soared in jurisdictions that are highly jabbed, like Israel, Gibraltar, Ireland, Singapore, and all over Western Europe. Then point out that you’re fearful of being around jabbed transmitters of the virus and that if jab status is going to be an issue for the evening, then everyone should be obligated to prove negative status with a test, regardless of jab status — lest all the jabbed unwittingly contaminate each other and create a giant festive cluster.

You could ask if everyone at the event has had their Yellow Fever vaccination, and point out how deadly Yellow Fever is, with a 20 percent to 50 percent death rate. Ask why they figure Yellow Fever vaccination isn’t mandatory for anyone who hasn’t visited the parts of Africa or South America where the virus is prevalent, and why COVID jabs, by contrast, are being foisted on literally everyone. Point out the fact that this is literally the first “vaccine” that apparently has to be administered to 100 percent of the planet in order to be considered sterilizing.

And finally, if you (like myself) have already been infected by, and recovered from COVID while barely noticing, ask why your loved ones are so intent on you taking any kind of risk with a jab for which no government or pharmaceutical company can currently be held legally liable, especially when the benefit to you is negligible given your acquired immunity and previously easy time with the disease.

‘Tis the season to be haughty when it comes to discriminating over private medical details. But it doesn’t mean that you can’t push back while making your friends and family think twice.