Men Shouldn't Have a Say on Abortion

By:  Rachel Marsden

I am a compassionate, pro-life conservative. As such, I believe that abortion has to stay legal.

If you subscribe to the "full meal deal" package of either liberalism or conservatism, then this statement likely confuses you. Good. Swallowing an ideology holus bolus - signing up for the team, pulling on the jersey and saying, "Tell me what to do/think now, coach!" - is for major-league morons who are incapable of independent thought.

South Dakota's recent move to pass the most restrictive anti-abortion bill since Roe v. Wade has many conservatives wetting themselves with excitement - including, apparently, the Sun's Michael Coren, who gushed over the idea in his column last week, suggesting Canada should take similar measures.

If you're a man, like Coren, allow me to illustrate where your "abortion rights" begin and end: Say you're at a theme park, eyeing up the roller coaster. It looks like such a blast that, in your excitement, you blow past the entranceway warning signs.

When you get off (no pun intended), your neck and back feel as though you've just spent the day as Jackie Chan's stunt-double, and you realize that maybe you should have paid more attention to the fine print. Now you want to sue for whiplash and tell the amusement park operator how to run the place. Tough luck. Next time, choose better. The same goes for whatever woman you're "riding." Once that lap bar goes down and you're locked in, she's in control.

That being said, women with a flagrant disregard for life, who use abortion as a regular form of birth control, make me sick. There are so many surefire forms of contraception out there now that there's no such thing as an "accident."

If you're just too stupid to figure out that you shouldn't have unprotected sex during those few hours every month when you're capable of conceiving, no life that you produce as a result should be snuffed out because of your idiocy. If you don't want to keep the kid, then people like Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will gladly adopt it. (I don't believe they have a souvenir mascot, er, child from Canada in their "miniature United Nations collection" yet.)

But many conservatives say they're "pro-life" when they're really just "pro-existence." Until technology allows for "in utero" repair of a severely handicapped fetus that fails to miscarry naturally, the mother must have the final word on its viability.

We put down decrepit pets out of mercy, saying, "He's suffering, and that's no life." Unborn human beings deserve the same respect. The same goes for the products of incest and rape. What sort of quality of life is that person really going to have? Only a mother can make that sort of decision.

It's easy for men to argue that women should have to carry around a product of rape or incest for nine months. Would these same guys spend even a few minutes keeping an eye on some guy's beer mug at the pub after being punched in the face by the same thug?

Hey, guys: How about I refrain from telling you whether you should sacrifice sexual performance in favour of those formulas that help you combat baldness, and in return, you stop trying to tell women what to do when it comes to childbirth?

If God had meant for you to be the one in charge, He would've given you a uterus.